Not Quite Dead
by Anmynous
Summary: No previous knowledge of Ghost Trick required, but beware major spoilers. Wherein Kyon witnesses a murder, and has a day to find out the motive behind it - while making sure Haruhi doesn't find out about it. Also contains snarking and cats.
1. Prologue

There's been a murder in the clubroom.

This time, it's not a closed room mystery, real or imagined, even though only the victim, the murderer, and a cat hiding under the table were present when it took place.

Asahina is standing in the doorway in shock, no doubt about to faint or at least burst into tears at the horrific sight in front of her. A corpse folded over a table, enough blood leaked out and pooled on the surface to have started dripping over the edges... anyone would be stunned. Ah, sweet angel, if only I could, I would drop whatever I was doing to comfort you; nothing could be more important.

Those not familiar with this kind of story may wonder why I'm not going to her, then. But you see...

I am the victim.

And since I got a good look at my murderers face after he stomped in, pointed a gun at me, and fired, I can't call it a closed room mystery. Though all the details about it remain mysterious.

I have never seen that person before in my life.

And he certainly wasn't kind enough to give me an explanation on why I had outlived my usefulness, or was too dangerous to the future to be allowed to live, or anything that would let a victim explain what was going on to the investigators - if only he hadn't died before they got there. All I know is that he used an ordinary-looking gun, and vanished into thin air before my vision faded.

But there are more important things to worry about than the murderer or the motive, and I'm saying that as the one who was murdered. For starters, who or what is this "me" doing all the thinking? I definitely can't move or feel my body (which is looking quite cold and stiff), but I'm aware, able to see and hear things around me, and feel sorry for Asahina. A small part of me wonders how that last can be, since I shouldn't have any chemicals or hormones coursing through my veins when I don't have any veins, but that seems like an insignificant detail next to the big issue of being aware at all.

Putting all that up to having a soul will have to do for now, as it doesn't seem like anyone is around that I could ask, so let me put my next big question mark into words:

What will Haruhi do?

This is exactly the kind of situation **that girl **wanted to create, and I would not be surprised to find her or her associates at the end of the thread, but unravelling the yarn of mystery comes a distant second to stopping Haruhi from unravelling the fabric of reality. I can't do that if I'm dead, and even if the other brigade-members manage to conceal their emotions and my demise from her, she will... get unstable, if I just suddenly stop showing up for our daily clubroom meetings. And I'm not sure they would be able to conceal something like this from her for long, even if they have managed to hide their identities all this time.

Maybe I'm looking too far ahead. Something needs to be done here and now, before she gets back. If only Nagato had been the first back, she could have easily hid all evidence of murder, as well as calmly told the other two members of it, a much preferable sequence of events to almost _anyone_ else coming in and seeing my remains.

But only Asahina, my corpse, and the cat are in the room, and two of those can't clean up a murder scene, while Asahina is more likely to start wailing in terror loud enough for half the school to come running. In short, no-one's around that can prevent the end of the world as we know it.

_Well, I don't know about that. I'd say I'm quite capable of helping you with your problems._

...The cat... can talk?


	2. Introduction to a Cat

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised, considering Shamisen, but this kitten isn't Shami. It's an ordinary-looking black sort apart from the red cloth tied around it's neck, and hasn't shown any inclination to communicate since it started showing up around us lesser brigade members. At first I had thought I was the only one, and that it was only interested in Shamisen's scent on me, but the first time it came into the brigade room I commented about having gotten a new stalker friend, whereupon Asahina exclaimed that it had been following her around too. And then the whole story came out.

Not that there was much of a story to tell. Koizumi seemed a bit curious as he said much the same as Asahina only in more words, while Nagato merely nodded when she got a questioning look directed at her, before gazing at the feline. They seemed to have a staring contest for a moment then, but I put it down to her making sure it was just a cat as she calmly returned to her reading.

Obviously I was wrong.

But now that I think about it, perhaps saying that it's a talking cat is premature. I'm not really moving my mouth here, am I...

_That's right. The way it was explained to me when I first died, the dead have no secrets from each other._

Now I get the feeling that this cat is smiling at me, much like Koizumi might. Though of course cats don't smile like normal people do. Not that Koizumi does, either, but this mystery cat - so unlike the cute yet aloof Shami - seems to have a similarly laid-back demeanor.

So... you're dead? Yet still walk and, as it were, talk? Does that make you an undead kitten?

_Uh, I guess. Haven't heard that one before actually. Though I don't talk to a whole lot of people, being a cat._

Well at least you're not a slider. Any particular reason you haven't spoken to any of us before?

_Because I can only speak to the dead, and those who have died and then been revived. Although, that quiet bookworm girl with the purple hair, she spoke to me the first time I followed her. It was a bit of a shock. Normally, I have to initiate the conversations... and apparently her powers are such that not only could she speak to me directly, she could also read my memories. I felt kind of violated to tell you the truth, and am in no hurry to see her again._

I'm sure she only did it because she had to know if you were a threat. That's weird though, Nagato usually tells us about anomalies like zombie cats... I guess you aren't about to reveal your existence to Haruhi?

_That girl was quite firm about not revealing my true self to the energetic one with the yellow hairband, and I had already heard enough from the rest of you not to make that mistake. Something about her having magic powers?_

That's right. The power to remake the universe to her liking, should she become aware of it, and in an indirect way, even now that she isn't. But how would you reveal yourself if you can only talk to the dead? Or has Haruhi died and been brought back to life? Somehow I think I would remember that.

_I don't think you would, at least not in the circumstances I was thinking of. And I have some powers of my own... though I hadn't realized exactly how dangerous that girl was._

So, you're a _magic_ zombie kitten.

_We call them Ghost Tricks._

Who's "we"?

_I'm not the only one to have received these powers, although the people with them can be counted on one hand. In fact I think it's just me now, after... well, it doesn't matter any more. And..._

And...?

...

It's me, isn't it. I can do "Ghost Tricks".

_Sorry._

Oh, I'm not? That's a reli-

_No, I just uh... you seemed so upset, so I felt I should apologize for bringing this on you._

It's all right. I've dealt with worse. I never really wanted to live out a full, normal life anyway... How exactly is it your fault though? Just how do you get these powers? And what are they?

_A meteorite struck the earth a few years ago, and a fragment of it got embedded in my body as it fell. Ever since, I've been a never-aging kitten with special powers, though there's a bit of a story involving the powers of the meteorite and time travel before that... actually, I was once a mere ghost like you are now, albeit a ghost with powers granted from being killed while near the fragment... also just like you._

A meteorite fragment's radiation giving special powers? Sounds like something right out of a superhero origin story. And you still haven't told me what these powers are like.

_Your friends seem like pretty typical characters to me, so I don't think you have any room to talk. As for the powers, well, I can do _this_ among other things._

And a book floated out of the shelf - thankfully outside of the still-shocked Asahinas field of vision - spun lazily as it opened and closed, then neatly slid back where it had been in the bookshelf.

Which makes you a magic, undead, _poltergeist_ kitten.

_I think you can stop that now. And you should have such powers yourself, though probably very different if my past experiences are anything to go by._

Well, this is very exciting and all, especially being alive after dying or however you say it, but experimenting with powers will have to wait. Can we do something about Asahina and my mortal coil here and now? You should at least be able to pick up a pen and write on the board...

_How about bringing you back to life? I can go back to 4 minutes before your death and save you from being shot by that man. Probably._

Then why didn't you do that in the first place? Did you just want to introduce yourself? Or wait, will I lose whatever powers I might have now after I come back to life?

_Yes, you would lose those powers, but since you'd then be "dead but revived", I would be able to talk to you and explain all this anyway. The reason I didn't is that the man didn't seem like he'd be easily dissuaded, and more than that, while you're like this you're in an excellent position to gather information while being completely undetectable._

Oh? Unfortunately, I don't seem to be able to control my dead body like yourself, so how would that happen, exactly?

_You can move your soul between objects, possess them as it were. And if we're lucky, you'll also have something like my ability to travel along telephone lines._

Move my soul... but why into objects? Why not into thin air, like this?

Hey, I'm having an out-of-body experience!

_Oh. I thought that was impossible, but I guess it's just another different thing about our powers. Well... I can't really tell you anything else, simply because I don't know that much about them, so how about this: while you go ahead and try to find out what's going on, I'll stay behind and make sure that you get brought back to life before anything unfortunate happens. Like that hairbanded girl seeing your corpse. Or us running out of time._

I have a time limit on me, then?

_You have a day before my powers of revival can't bring you back. I'll make sure to bring you back before then, even if you're not here - but please be. I don't think you have to be here with your corpse for it to work, but lets not push our luck._

Don't have to tell me. My life is the one at stake. Unless I was merely the first victim...

I'd better get to work.


	3. Cleaning up Loose Ends

First, let's save Asahina's sanity.

_I wanted to ask about her, actually. She's a time traveller, right? So shouldn't she have known this would happen? Though she does look genuinely shocked._

It's apparently not that easy. She's talked about events being predetermined, and can't tell us any "classified information" about the future. Of course, her presence here already tells us some things, like we won't be destroyed by evil robots, or upload our brains into machines. Although she definitely seems to have implants...

…

Uh, I mean like, computer chips in her brain.

_So if what we do is predetermined, history will only record what happens once we set things right? I guess that means she had no idea that this was coming. Does that mean we'll inevitably succeed? Unless it means we fail to get anything permanent done and you just keep getting killed and revived until the perpetrators get sick of all the miraculous escapes and give up._

I hope not. Dying over and over all the time sounds inconvenient. And anyway, from what I understand, she just comes from **a** future, and is here to try to make that future come to pass. Now, can we focus on preventing a future where her screams brings everybody in the entire school running into this room?

_Oh, right. I can't read or write though, being a cat._

Ah. What to do, then...

Oi, that book there, in the lower row with a goofy smiling thing on the front, do you see it? Put it on the table.

_Okay, but why? This doesn't seem like a good time for reading a book._

It says "Don't panic" on the front, in big, friendly letters. I figure it'll at least give her enough of a pause not to scream right away.

_I should warn you though that while time doesn't pass when we speak as ghosts, it will whenever I have to use my other powers; yours might be the same. So, she'll see the book move through the air._

Noted. It's just as well, she won't be able to miss it that way, and it's not like we don't believe in the supernatural in the Brigade.

...

Asahina's child-like features changing from shock to disbelief to confusion and finally to being utterly lost as the book bobbed through the air and landed in front of her, is something I could watch all day.

Eventually she reaches the only logical conclusion: ghosts.

"K-Kyon...?"

Now what? I'm pretty sure we don't have any books with "Yes" or even "Affirmative" on the front... Nod the book back and forth for me once, will you?

...

"A... Are you dead?"

Tricky question. Wiggle the book from side to side, hopefully it'll come of as "sort of".

"Ah, um, is there anything I can do?"

Nod. Move the book over to my corpse.

"Erh, are you saying I should do something with your b-body?"

Yes please. I mean, nod. Move book to the closet.

"Put it in the closet?... Oh, but there's cleaning stuff there. Ah! You want me to clean away the... the..."

Nod.

An unexpected bonus, I had just hoped we could stuff it in there to buy some time.

Asahina hesitantly set to the gruesome work, whimpering all the while.

Guess that's that, then. See you around, cat, and try to reassure her. Preferably without killing her and bringing her back so you can talk directly...

_Hey, I save lives, not take them! And the name's Sissel, not cat._

My apologies, then.

Come to think of it, how exactly did you find out about us? "Sissel" doesn't sound like a local name, cat or no.

_Long story short, I revived an esper who had been killed by these impossibly huge blue creatures, "Celestials", and he told me what that was all about in gratitude. And, he mentioned something that irked me at the time - apparently I'm "another manifestation of Suzumiya's wishes"._

Could be. Huh, guess I'm giving Koizumi too little credit if he's genuinely in danger of dying... Maybe I could try to annoy Haruhi a bit less. Well, please take care of my earthly remains, and absolutely do not let Haruhi see anything suspicious. Possess her if you have to, I'm sure she would think up a more likely explanation for her limbs not obeying her than ghostly possession. She's odd like that, with her strong belief that nothing supernatural ever actually happens to her.

_I can't affect people, only inert objects, but I'll do what I can. Good luck._

Thanks. Yeah, I'm probably going to need it. Now, where do I go first?

Home? Maybe they went there first, looking for me, and... No, best not to think about it. I'm sure I can think of something constructive, instead.


	4. Useless Neighbours

Man, if I had known it would be this _slow_ to fly around as a spirit of the dead I would have lamented the loss of my feet more. If I spend hours floating down the school corridors at the speed of a student that just realized all that awaits them at home is more work... who knows what could happen? The mystery murderers could decide to mysteriously murder someone else, or they may have been planning to do so all along for all I know.

I guess Sissel the magic cat can save everyone, but I'd rather nobody die in the first place. It wasn't a pleasant experience, growing cold and seeing my blood leak out of me before everything went dark, temporary though it may have been.

Maybe I should check up on Nagato first, she could probably keep everyone safe. Though I suppose I'm not one to talk of being safe. I hope the Data Overmind didn't reconsider its previous stance towards the issue and decide it was time to just let me die. Ah no, Nagato read Sissel's mind, didn't she? So they would know I could be brought back to life. But then perhaps they let it happen, to further some unknown and humanly unfathomable purpose!

Or maybe I should stop acting like I'm in some fantasy story where there are villains with ridiculously intricate plans. Yeah, let's go with that.

The wall to the computer club room is no obstacle to me now, of course. Moving through it felt... well, in truth I didn't really feel anything, but it was a disturbing experience all the same, when my vision filled with the materials of the wall before going completely black for the instant it took until I was all the way through. Inside the neighbouring club's room I find that the members are all wearing headphones and yelling into microphones. That would explain them not hearing the gunshot, unless they just put it up to another insane contrivance by Haruhi.

Nagato however, is headphone-less and completely still, hands frozen in a position to type who knows what kind of computer magic. Somehow she appears even more unmoving than usual; if I didn't know better I would worry that she might have crashed and suffered a blue screen of death.

Nagato, can you hear me? You read Sissel's mind, right?

…

No reaction. And that means no easy mystery solution. Or is there a possibility that I can possess the keyboard and type something out on her screen, like the cat and his telekinetic powers? I'll just reach out towards it as if I still had an arm...

...And nothing. It felt a little like I was flailing my arm through mist. This is getting really annoying, at this rate I'll never figure out my powers! I know I'm usually content to give sage advice from the sidelines, but it would be nice to be the magical and powerful kind of person for once.

I'll have to ask Sissel for help yet again. At least the brigade room is only a short uh, float away.

Going back through the wall isn't nearly so disturbing now that I know what to expect, but the only reward on remaining calm throughout is seeing my cat mentor looking agitated. I hope he isn't-

...

Where's my body?


	5. Duty and Smiles

My body is gone. Poof. Vamoosed. So is Asahina, and it doesn't take a genius to put the pieces together here. She's warped it through time and space. It's really rather clever of our wonderful maid-and-mascot as far as hiding it from Haruhi goes, and I can barely bring myself to blame her, but **this could have ruined everything!**

Without my body, Sissel can't use his abilities to bring me back. If I'm gone for good, seemingly vanished into thin air, Haruhi will probably get really quite amazingly angry. And if I'm not around to calm her down - which I can't say I managed very often in the first place - Well, all bets are off.

What are we supposed to do now? We can't be heard by Asahina or anyone else unless they've died first, and though I joked about killing brigade members for our convenience so we have some means of communication, I don't think either of us could actually do something like that. Physically as well as morally... though I suppose one of my powers could turn out to be stopping hearts or something equally horrifying.

Now I remember something my mentor cat mentioned in passing earlier though.

Sissel!

_Oh, hello. Um. I'm sorry about your body, but I had no idea what she was doing when she started fiddling with this device she had, so I didn't think to stop her, and then she just vanished, and I can't see her or your body anywhere-_

I know, calm down. Being a time traveler, she time-warped it away to very definitely hide it from Haruhi. In any other circumstances I would have applauded her show of initiative, but now we'll just have to change our plans. First I wanted to ask you about something important though.

Did you mean exactly what you said before about time not passing while we're talking like this?

_Right, we have the luxury of calmly thinking through this. But I don't think there's much point in making any intricate plans, right now we **need** to hunt down someone who has died recently so I can bring them back, to act as our mouthpiece to the living. We should hurry._

To where? The hospital morgue?

_No... I tried that at one point, but it wasn't just that it was hard to stay near - since I'm a cat - but also that all the people in there had died too long ago. Even bodies brought in as I was there were too old, often as not. And those that died inside the hospital were almost always outside my abilities to save, as going back 4 minutes can't really do much about a body slowly failing... Ultimately I saved more lives just walking the streets and heading to accident sites or following detectives._

It's never easy for us saviors, is it? But, although I don't know the crime statistics for our city, I doubt we get a murder case a day, so if you were planning on that last we'll need an awful lot of luck.

_Anything is better than just waiting around for oblivion. C'mon._

And he sets off at full sprint. Hey, slow down, I can't fly as fast as you can run! Man, even though he's dead I can't keep up with the cat.

_You should be able to hitch a ride with me. Just sort of, reach out and grab on._

I tried that earlier with Nagato's computer, but- Oh.

Nice body you have here.

_Uh, thanks?_

Very cozy. And warm, with all the fur. ...Actually, you're quite cold from being dead, aren't you.

_Yeeeah... Let's just get out of here._

Except as we - or rather he, with me hanging on - head toward the door, a phone rings. It's mine too, ringing from where my jacket is hanging on the wall. Guess Asahina missed it.

_A phonecall? Perfect! Ought to be relevant if it's coming at a time like this, too. Let's see... Haven't used these new types of phones much. To answer a call you'd just flip it open and press the green button, right?_

Right. But are you forgetting we can't talk...? Out loud at any rate.

_I can travel between known phone numbers, and trace a call in progress to the other end of the line, so even if the call is about something trivial we'll get a quick way to traverse the city. Hang on, now!_

After answering the call, he doesn't pause for even a second before somehow _shifting _to the phone, his body left behind and my soul pulled along. The next few moments felt very much like something out of a CGI sequence, zooming through a tube at high speed with lights flickering past us before we finally came to a sudden stop in a completely different place.

* * *

On the other end of the line...

Koizumi. On the floor in what appears to be a vast and mostly empty warehouse. Apparently bleeding out from having been shot. Damn it, I really hope this isn't going to become a recurring scene...

"...Kyon? Can you... hear me? This is... rather important."

I find myself impulsively reaching out to grab him, but of course I don't actually have arms anymore... Probably just as well, if I was fully here I might embarrass myself by holding his shoulders and telling him to hold on or something equally cliché, but despite my occasional insincere wish to the contrary he hasn't died yet, so there's no way for me to speak with him.

But what's with that sudden confused look?

"Fully... here?"

He can hear us? He can hear us. I thought you said only those who have been dead can hear us.

_I guess I was wrong. Now, can we celebrate the fact that someone doesn't have to die instead? Even if it looks like just a matter of time._

"...Kyon? And..."

Yeah, I'm here. I'm dead, though.

Don't look so alarmed, it's not permanent.

_Hopefully. We might need your help to make sure of that, actually._

"Who... were you talking to?"

Huh? He just spoke to you... Ah, maybe this power only works for myself. I'll relay what he says.

_My name is Sissel, and I'm the cat that's been following you and your friends around recently. Like you people, I have unique and inexplicable powers, so I took an interest after saving one of your esper colleagues. But, and I hate to put it like this, could you hurry up and die? If it takes too long we won't be able to save you..._

I realize how that might sound, but you can trust him, I promise. And anyway, you can tell from how we're here talking that it won't be the end.

"I... suppose so. That's... relieving."

And with that, he smiled one last time, took a breath, only to choke on his own blood. Damn it Koizumi, why do you have to be so dutiful? I might not like your philosophizing and off-taste jokes but that doesn't mean I enjoy seeing you cough blood before suddenly going still like that.

Please tell me we won't have to do that ever again. Even having experienced it myself, it was a pretty horrible sight.

_Well, I'm afraid you'll have to steel yourself, because it worked and in order to save him we'll have to witness his moment of death._

Ugh. Go on then, he can't save himself.

* * *

For me, the sensation of going back in time was like being yanked away by a leash around my body, though with no CGI sequence this time. I suppose Sissel is on the other end of that cord, though how would he exert physical force when... ugh, nevermind.

We arrive to find two extra men in the scene, one of them holding Koizumi at gunpoint.

You know, I've often wanted to tell him to go die in an explosion, but now that it looks like something of the sort will actually happen I find myself feeling kind of worried. At least he might become our spokesperson.

_Assuming it's possible to save him. I could probably distract the man pointing his gun at him, but there's nowhere for him to go in the few seconds that would buy; even if I could knock that man out cold, the other will just draw his gun and do the job for him._

Can we at least talk to him, find out how he got here?

_No talking to people in the past I'm afraid, even if they've been brought back before._

And he doesn't seem to be hearing us now, so we'll just have to wait.

...

The gunman that wasn't aiming at Koizumi was keeping watch, in more than one sense. He kept checking his wristwatch, and was the first one to speak since we'd gone back.

"It's time. We're leaving."

This one's voice was crisp and toneless, seemingly preferring efficient wording. Essentially how I'd imagined sentient robot aliens would sound, before I met Nagato.

"So that's it then? He's dead, and we just wait for her reaction?," the other responded in an almost lazily laid-back tone.

"Dead? No!"

Koizumi outburst surprised all present. He'd merely looked slightly nervous before, now he'd gone through confused to seriously agitated in an instant. Guess he figured they were talking about me.

He leapt aside. What could he possibly hope to achieve with a stunt like that? Is what went through my mind for the split second it took before the second gunman shouted something incoherent and opened fire.

I have to admit, I reflexively closed my eyes... or something like that... so I only got to see Koizumi falling to the ground clutching the side of his chest.

"Sorry kid, but you don't make sudden moves when someone's aiming a gun at you. It's a shame really, we had no real reason to kill you now."

Not the nicest words to hear from your murderer.

"No difference at this point. Acceptable losses, even. Let's get back to HQ. You can tell them what happened."

Those are somehow worse. But it did confirm that this was bigger than one person, especially when they suddenly vanished like the man that shot me. All we could do now was watch Koizumi struggle weakly to get his phone out, call me, and speak to seemingly thin air, before once again dying horribly.

Hey, could we talk to ourselves this way? This being some sort of time travel.

_Nope. No talking to other people, and especially no talking to yourself. If there was a spirit like ourselves around here **before** we went back, maybe._

Well, now that we've seen this awful scene twice, can we prevent it from happening?

_Let's see if there's something I missed._

And so I get yanked back again...


	6. We Didn't Really Plan This Out

We find ourselves in the same scene as before, with the two gunmen and Koizumi.

_Nothing much happened last time until your friend jumped aside and got shot, so I don't think there's much for us to do before that point. Though I still don't have any ideas that would do more than buy him a second or two._

Is there very definitely no way of talking to him? Finding out what's going on here first could help.

_Well... No-one's done it that I know of, but you _were _somehow able to speak with him before, without him actually being dead yet. And he definitely hadn't been revived earlier. So, perhaps you can speak to him somehow?_

Then maybe I'll be the one who gets to be the hero and saves the day? It'd be a nice change of pace, though I'll be happy to trade it for my life back when we get to that.

Let's see, the only thing I did differently with Koizumi than Asahina was reach out, so if I do that now...

Koizumi? Can you hear me?

His face hardly changed, going from minor nervousness to slight confusion. But tiny though it was, to me the shift was as full of warmth and relief as when you get back inside a house on a cold, windy day. Now we might actually have a shot at this that doesn't involve having Koizumi shot at. And of course, I get to help with my own power rather than leaning on my friends the entire time.

Koizumi, this, uh... How do I explain this? We're using time travel, and some other newfound powers, to try and save your life. But unfortunately they're limited and could at best buy you a second or two, so if you know something-

"A second is all I need to get away."

What? How?

"What... Hey, he sounded like he was talking to someone just now!"  
Ah, damn. The gunman heard Koizumi. Seems like talking with living people is only silent on my end, unlike those chats with the cat.

"I'll keep watching. Just be careful. Shoot him if anything seems off."  
An awfully harsh order... and dangerously vague. They both have their guns ready now, and the lazy-tongued one is looking a lot more focused. Koizumi is as motionless as a pond in moonlight, but probably not quite as tranquil under the surface.

_With both of them alert like this, I'm not sure we can buy him even that one second._

Well, let's just try something. The worst that could happen is that they shoot him and we're forced to try again, right?

No need to look so alarmed Koizumi, I'm sure you'll survive in the end.

_You shouldn't tease him like that. He's already under the threat of bullets, no need to make him sweat them as well._

Leave the horrible puns to me. And don't worry, I'll just tell him I was joking. I'm sure he'll accept that without complaint.

_Okaaay... I'll just yank the gun out of this one's hands then?_

Uh, that might-

_**BANG!**_

…

* * *

I'll admit I closed my eyes (or something like that) once again, and missed the actual moment of death, but Koizumi was definitely dead. From being shot in the head. Sorry, sorry...

"Damn! Th' thing jumped in my hands or something. They told us his powers di'n't work like that!"

Lazy Gunman seemed more upset about his gun going off than a guy being shot in the face in front of him.

"Calm down. This was planned for as well. It could just as easily not have been your fault."

Somehow I'm surprised the short-spoken would deliver a line with some real bite in it like that.

"Whatever... Let's just tell chief he's dead and get back to HQ."

"You can tell them. Since your gun went off by itself."

It seems they're not really friends, just co-workers who happen to be hired murderers. 'Lazy' muttered something inaudible while he pulled a cellphone from one of the holsters on his belt and put it to his ear.

_While I'd like to apologize for getting your friend killed, we should probably catch this call. Hang on to me._

I really don't think we'll be so lucky as to hear something helpful.

_It's not the conversation I'm interested in. Just hold onto me again, will you?_

Fine, fine.

On the other end of the line...

"Hello?"

An anxious-looking man answers. He seems to be wearing a lab coat, but the room he's in looks nothing like the villainous lair of a mad scientist. No bubbling vats of green liquid, for one.

"This is group two. 'Fraid our target died when my gun went off accidentally."

"Accidentally?"

"That's what I said."

"Ungh..."

"Nothing we can do 'bout it now, so just send us back early."

"...Fine. Returning in 5, 4-"

"Just do it! You're not about to launch a rocket, and if I wanted to wait I'd just wait for the automatic recall!"

"Okay, okay!"

And he hit a button, killing the phone call and leaving us two heroes who-knows-where, well away from Koizumi.

_No problem, I can still head to his phone. Strange though, the cut was much more abrupt than usual, and I can't seem to reach the hit man's phone now._

Shouldn't we stick around this person, find out what's going on here? Though his face seems kind of vacant at the moment.

_We can come back whenever we feel like it, right now we should be saving your smiling friend._

I suppose it's healthy to focus on one thing at a time. Go on then.

Back with Koizumi, or his corpse at least, we find that the gunmen are gone.

The one that came for me earlier today had vanished into thin air, and we saw those two disappear similarly before we went back and changed things just now, so I expect the same method had just brought the two back wherever they came from. Some sort of teleportation of course, but where did they go? They didn't have any features that stood out as foreign, which makes sense if they're supposed to be assassins able to blend into crowds, so I don't think they came from - or went to - anywhere outside the national borders.

_Well, at least something good came from your friend's dying prematurely. Since we go back 4 minutes from his death, we can now go further back than before. Maybe we'll find out what he was doing here._

How lucky for us. And all it took was shooting Koizumi in the head. All right, do... whatever it is you do.

* * *

After getting yanked around once again... What am I, a leashed dog? I certainly don't enjoy chasing Shamisen around when it's time for a bath. Although Haruhi does drag me around by the tie...

Dropping that unpleasant train of thought, I look towards Koizumi, who is right as rain again. Standing around with his hands in his pockets as if nothing was out of the ordinary in this huge, empty warehouse.

I suppose I could simply tell him to go home immediately, before even asking him what's going on?

_We should wait and see what happens once. Since we can always go back again, this should let us discover some new things._

Why is he even here...

Out of thin air, our dynamic duo from seconds earlier appear, guns already trained on one surprised esper.

"Stand still and don't even think of vanishing into Closed Space!"  
Strange that it's the short-spoken one that explains the situation. Stranger still, or maybe not, our enemy knows of esper powers.

Is Koizumi even able to enter Closed Space from here, I wonder? Since his powers only work when and where Haruhi feels like it, he'd have to be luckier than Phoenix Wright for him to able to use them here and now. But, perhaps he chose this place, rather than they?

Not that it does him any good if someone just shoots him before he can vanish.

"So... you would be the people that contacted our Organization?"  
Koizumi is taking his life being in danger remarkably well, hands up in the air and smile only slightly strained.

"Yes."

"What are your terms?"

"Don't have any. Just keeping you here, out of the way."  
Words that made Koizumi much more nervous.

"I... see. Will you at least tell me why you are doing this?"

"No."

'Curt' lowered his gun, leaving 'Lazy' as the sole owner of an aimed gun.

"But... it's not personal. Billions will be better off if we succeed."

"Very noble of you to threaten to kill a person so others can be better off."

"Shut up and stand still."

For a minute or so, pretty much everyone present did this, with Curt looking around the area instead of towards the 'target', glancing at his watch every few seconds. Not as calm as he wants to seem, perhaps.

As I was idly toying with the idea of making the gunmen think they were insane and hearing voices, Koizumi suddenly spoke up.

"A second is all I need to get away."

Without having heard my own spoken prompt, it was very odd. Glancing over at where we had been at the time revealed nothing, so Sissel must have been right about that.

Events eventuated just as before. Sorry to make these things happen to you Koizumi, but at least this should be the last time. The gunmen vanish, and only his corpse remains... as it were.

So, mister cat. Any ideas on how to rescue my smiling friend?

_If he was telling the truth about only needing a second... yes. Actually, your new-found power will do most of the work, and I imagine not for the last time. It ought to be very handy._

Glad to be of service.

And so, we go back one last time...


	7. Slightly Statuser Quo

So... Koizumi's there, we're here, and the hitmen are... somewhere. What's the plan, kittycat?

_Please stop that. And the plan is to wait until they've arrived and finished talking, then you tell him to get ready to flee and I pull the pointed gun aside. It should work while they're not so alert._

Simple and easy to understand. I like it.

_Do you usually have a hard time understanding plans?_

That was uncalled for.

_If you'll call me by my name, I'll call it even. Anyway, this all relies on him really being able to get away in just a second. Do you know if his powers would let him do that?_

Well, **Sissel**, it's like this... Under specific circumstances, he can transport himself into another... dimension or something, they call it Closed Space for some reason, probably just thought it was "cool". Normally he only goes there to fight with those giant blue creatures you mentioned seeing what feels like ages ago now, but I don't think there's any reason he couldn't use it for more mundane purposes, like dodging bullets.

Of course, those specific circumstances stop him from entering whenever he pleases, but I suspect he planned this all out, and just wasn't expecting our enemies to be so aggressive as to immediately point their guns at him. I guess it takes a second to shift himself there, never actually watched him as he did it.

_I see... I guess we'll just wait a bit before carrying our plan out, then?_

Let's.

The wait for our moment to act wasn't as tense as one might think considering someone's life was at stake here. Honestly, I'd have far more severe feelings of nervousness when waiting for a math quiz to be handed out, not knowing what would be on the paper and exactly how doomed I was until much too late to do anything about it. Maybe it's because this is one of those rare situations where I actually have some idea of what'll happen? Or perhaps it's that we could go back in time and try again... that would certainly have helped with the tests.

Before I could suggest using Sissel's power for greater goods like cheating at math tests, the gunmen arrived. Once their chat was over and only Lazy's gun was aimed at Koizumi...

_Alright. Tell him to be ready and I'll pull the gun aside._

Right, but what to say... I should have thought about that instead of math tests.

Koizumi? Keep your pokerface on.

To his credit, he barely furrowed his brow. Not enough to elicit any visible reaction from Lazy, thankfully.

That guy will have his gun pulled aside in a moment. Be ready to jump into Closed Space and get out of here, preferably to the club room. Don't be worried about what you find there, but do stop Asahina from moving it through time. I'll explain more when I see you there. Or talk, at any rate.

This time he looked a bit frustrated, perhaps from being ordered about by a disembodied voice. Maybe he didn't recognize me, but whatever. Not like he's not "suggested" me into doing stuff.

Your turn, Sissel.

_Right._

And the plan... went off without a hitch. I'm rather surprised.

Things are really going my way, aren't they? I saved a life. I'm important.

_Good job, hero. Now grab on to me again so we can use this guys phone before they vanish like earlier, stranding us in the middle of nowhere._

Right... The dysfunctional duo had acted much like earlier, "they told us his powers di'n't work like that" and all, but were now seconds away from leaving. Thankfully, Sissel caught a phone in time, and once these strange villains had finished talking, we got on our way back to the club room.

* * *

I don't have many seconds to think while zipping through the phone lines, and I didn't count the minutes while saving Koizumi, but I wonder if we aren't far enough back in time to stop my own death? That **was** why they were trying to keep Koizumi busy, I think. Though right now, I don't know that it would do any good to bring me back - these people are organized, and between their ability to instantly transport themselves and reporting in with ordinary cellphones, we can't really avoid them.

Koizumi could bring me into Closed Space again I suppose. There I could wait for things to blow over, but even disregarding Haruhi - which might be the last thing I'd do, especially while in Closed Space - this situation probably requires more direct intervention. Usually I'd ask the others for help, but...

Asahina was so shocked that combined with the nature of Sissel's power, I get the feeling even her people didn't know this was going to happen, which surely means they're in disarray after something so different from what they knew would happen, happened...

Nagato is mysteriously frozen and unresponsive, something I would really like to fix but have no idea how to...

And as for Koizumi, well... I've just now seen for myself how vulnerable he and his Organization are when confronted directly. The most I could hope for from them is probably bodyguards, or maybe snipers, but living with that my entire life would suck. Not to mention the trouble of keeping them close enough to help, but distant enough not to get spotted by Haruhi.

What the hell are these guys after anyway? Don't they know how Haruhi will react to my death? Probably, anyway? They're clearly not interfaces, so it doesn't seem like they could get any use out of the... consequences.

I really hope Koizumi or Asahina have some sort of advice to give, no matter how slight. Huh, I wonder if that's what they think when talking to me?

Probably not.

* * *

Arriving at the club room through my phone in my jacket again, we find Asahina - the most pleasant surprise - fussing over Sissel's still form, but also a frowning Koizumi. How did he get here before us? There's no big warehouse like that one anywhere near the school, it should have taken him more than those few seconds just now to get here.

_That's because we went back to our original time as we traveled through the phone line. My ability to go back only lasts until the life has been saved, basically, so your smiling friend has had a few minutes to get here and prevent your body from being taken away. Although, it's still gone..._

No doubt he's just moved it somewhere out of the way. As long as it's only moved in space and not time, that's fine isn't it? I'll speak to him and find out.

_And you can introduce me properly, as well._

Shouldn't you be able to do that yourself? You mentioned bringing someone back after being dead would let you do that.

_It doesn't work if their soul is unconscious when I revive them._

If their soul is- what!

_Don't ask me, that's just how it is! Different souls take different amounts of time to wake up after death, and your friend never did while we rescued him. So, I'm afraid introductions are still all up to you._

The restrictions on these powers are starting to feel increasingly arbitrary, and stupid.

_But aren't the restrictions in life much the same?_

If you were trying to sound deep and philosophical you failed.

_I'm a dead cat, give me a break._

I won't give a break to anyone that gets to lie in Asahina's lap. But I suppose I should have a chat with the living to explain the situation. Hmm, I wonder if I can reach out and talk to both at once...

Koizumi, Asahina. It's me again.

Asahina actually jumped in surprise. Even when she's hearing the voice of a ghost inside her head, she's adorable enough to give you cavities. But holes in my teeth from her sweet charm could never hurt me, so great is its power.

Koizumi on the other hand had merely looked up sharply, but was now giving his characteristic smile while Asahina blushed deeply.

"I don't believe we need to ask who is talking, but it would be good to know how you are doing it, Kyon. And of course, what happened here. Have we been mistaken all this time, and you are actually the most advanced esper of all, capable of telepathy and inducing hallucinations? Of blood and corpses, in particular?"

No, that stuff is quite real, and I'm fairly sure it's mine. As for what happened here, let me introduce you to a new friend first. Say something Sissel.

_Miaaaoooww..._

…

Well, you can't understand him, and for that matter neither could I until I was dead, but he's been a great help. Both in helping me coming to terms with my new-found status as a ghost, and just now in saving your life, Koizumi. He's no ordinary cat you see, and I should probably tell you right away that he can bring me back to life if he can just get to my body, so if you can make sure that it's somewhere close... Or a phone call away.

"That's very relieving to hear. I took the liberty of carrying your body through Closed Space and handed it to some people the Tsuruya's suggested, they should be able to keep it well hidden, and I can certainly reach them by phone any time. But tell me, since the cat has been here the entire time, why didn't he help out by using that power?"

Because those people we rescued you from - who also did me in - wouldn't give up that easily... but even more importantly, I'm of more use while I'm like this, so we've decided to hold off on it for the time being. There's a time limit of one day on the power, so it's not for very long.

"I suppose a day won't be too much for Suzumiya to handle. Very well, should I call for the body back now, or can that wait until the last few minutes? Being surprised by our ever-vigilant leader bursting in could be troublesome."

Just the phone call will be enough. Sissel can travel using it, as long as he has the number.

"Travelling through the phone network, bringing the dead back to life... Sounds like he's a very capable cat. Was he perhaps a witch's familiar?"

_Absolutely not._

He says no. And he mentioned earlier that his powers came from being hit by a radioactive meteor or something; if you want to know what kind of character he is, just ask straight out instead of unsubtly dancing around the subject.

"My apologies, I simply wanted to know what other tricks we could expect. Does that satisfy your desire for me asking you straight out?"

For being apologetic you sure are smiling a lot more than before. I'd tell you to tone it down or I'll punch you, but since I can't do that anymore I'll just have to haunt you.

As for Sissel's tricks, I have some of my own now that I'm dead, and between the two of us we can go back in time to a few minutes before someone died, move stuff, and talk to any dead or living person that isn't unconscious. We make a pretty good team.

"I see, I see... Have you found out anything about our assailants, then? We had hoped to get something out of that meeting you rescued me from, but we don't really know more than we did before; their ability to teleport had already been demonstrated to us as a show of power."

Not really... We do have a lead, but it can wait - have you tried to contact Nagato? She's just over in the Computer Society club room, but was totally unresponsive when I last saw her. I'm kind of worried.

"That does sound like a serious concern, and she never did respond on the phone when I called her a minute ago. Maybe she'll react more to a living person, though? I'll go over and try to speak to her."

I'd wait with bated breath, except I don't have any lungs to breathe with.

...

Asahina.

"Ah, yes, Kyon?"

Did you know any of this was going to happen? Or more relevantly, how are your superiors reacting?

"No, I didn't know... and I haven't heard anything at all from the future, um, except the usual order of 'stay calm and await further instructions'."

It might be that they didn't know this was going to happen either.

"But that's impossible! The time planes are already established, they can't suddenly change like this..."

I believe it's due to Sissel's ability to go back in time and save lives being different from your ability to travel freely, so that history as you know it would only record what happens after he's succeeded.

"Um... So you will classified? Ah..."

Causing that crestfallen expression on Asahina's face should be a crime, but I can't turn my animal accomplice in just yet.

_Hey!_

Anyway. I'm sure Sissel will appreciate it if you make his body comfortable while he's out of it.

_Well, that's not necessary, I can't really feel any physical sensations anymore._

Just put him in a corner somewhere.

_...Is there something you'd like to tell me about this girl?_

And here's Koizumi! ...Leading a face-blanker-than-usual Nagato.

"I'm afraid she doesn't respond to anything from me either, I had to pull her the entire way."

I worried you would have to carry her, so there's a small relief at least. But if our enemies can do this to even the invincible Nagato, how were they defeated by our relatively simple tricks when we rescued Koizumi?

Guess we don't have anything to do here then... Keep Nagato and Asahina safe, and Haruhi happy, will you? Particularly the former.

"Of course."

Sissel, now seems like a good time to visit that tense scientist-looking person.

_Yeah, sure..._

And down the line we went.


	8. Who You Gonna Call

Once we reach the other end of the line my eyes immediately fall on the strange person attending the phone. Not that there's anything else to look at, as whatever villain is behind this whole thing apparently suffers from a poor sense of feng shui or is stingier than a hive full of bees. There's just a plain door, leading into stage 5-2 no doubt, and a window letting daylight in from the second story of some street I don't recognize. With such awful interior decoration skills at work, the minions must get bored out of their skulls.

Especially if this guy is anything to go by. The cat called us in the Brigade "regular characters", but this guy takes the cake and beats it too, or whatever. He's spinning slowly in his office chair, looking up at the ceiling with a grim expression, occasionally chewing his lip. Maybe the secret mastermind is such a miser that they can't even buy anything to read.

Before I have time to contemplate bribing him with literature club membership, the phone we just came through rings, and Spinny lunges for it like he's expecting a terrorist holding his family hostage to be calling.

_That's rather convenient. Let's see what this is... about?_

I don't need the cat's magic senses to tell that something is funny about this call – it didn't take any time for us to reach the other end, and once there we found a room exactly like the one we left, only with a different person holding the receiver. A more anxious person, if her expression is anything to go by. I'd say she's expecting urgent news but is afraid of what it might bring, like a stewardess of an empty castle at the front lines. Her anxious face was rounded out by a small ponytail.

Back on the other end of the line, Spinny had nearly thrown the phone into the air in his excitement, and practically yelled _into the receiver_.

_"__Yes?!"_

"Has anything, y'know, odd happened?" Ponytail responds, sounding just as nervous as Spinny did earlier.

" _...Oh. Nothing, yet. You know I'd call if there was."_

"Well, the uh, men all came back reporting success, and I figured I'd, y'know, make sure you were still there. I guess it was a stupid question since you responded, haha..."

"_Yes. Goodbye._"

A terse end to a rather ominous conversation which told me about as much as the ending to Evangelion. But before putting the receiver back in its slot, Spinny glared at it in obvious frustration.

"_They have to come to their senses. They just __**have**__ to._"

Obviously he didn't hold it far enough from his mouth, as Ponytail winced before putting her own receiver down. What the heck are these people talking about? It's making the currently metaphorical hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

_Not just the neck for me. I wonder if we should stay here with the nervous woman, or head back to the man spinning in his chair?_

I say we stay. It feels like we're climbing up some kind of ladder – the men called the guy, and the guy seems to have some sort of duty to the woman, even if he didn't exactly sound subservient.

_That makes sense, but... there's not a whole lot we can do here. Waiting in hope of a phone call never worked for me._

A kettle watched never boils huh?

_What?_

Right, you're still a cat. Never mind that - we have my ability to float freely at our disposal, so we can just explore, can't we? I'm not sure where we'd go, but it would be a very ghostly thing to do to just float aimlessly, wouldn't it?

_It's rather slow though. I don't want to miss a phone call at this point. And this woman seems to be higher up the ladder, as you put it, so if anyone does call her I bet they'd have something important to say._

Like the guy in the spinny chair, who was keeping a swiveling eye out for "anything odd". Such as Haruhi rewriting the world... yeah, maybe it'd be safer to stay near a phone for the time being.

Ponytail, for her part, was playing with a cell phone she'd pulled out, intermittently throwing nervous glances at the phone she'd used earlier. I suppose it makes sense - work phones don't have games on them - but it still looks funny somehow.

Not to mention like a waste of life. Hey lady, both your phones are wireless, so take them outside and enjoy the sun. Nobody should need to sit around just waiting for a phone to ring! Although I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up doing exactly that some day because of Haruhi ordering me about.

...Actually, now that I look more closely the base seems to be wireless too, not even plugged into an electric outlet.

How... suspicious.

_What's suspicious about that?_

That would make it a battery-powered recharger. Meaning it'd charge a battery with another battery. No one would use such a stupid thing.

_So, is it a special phone somehow? The travel time __was__ oddly short..._

Shouldn't you know? You're the one zipping through the lines like a cat-shaped electron stream. Or cat-soul-shaped.

_I don't know what you see when we're moving through the network, but for me it's just lines and lights that make no sense. The only odd thing I noticed this time was that there were no lines and lights, just us instantly arriving at the other end._

It's like we teleported. Like the hitmen did...

I think I know the next step in our plan. Try and take us to one of their phones again!

_Right!__  
_

* * *

It worked.

I was very pleased with myself at the time - perhaps a little too much so. What had just happened was the first major clue as to what was actually going on, but with how I was mentally patting myself on my incorporeal back, I had practically forgotten about it by the time the 'lights and lines' ceased whooshing past and we emerged at the other end of the line.

What we saw there... was nothing special actually, or at least not new. What we heard, on the other hand, explained so much it blew my mind. A sensation I've gotten rather used to after all this time amidst aliens, espers, and time travelers, but it's still an unpleasant one.

* * *

_Thanks to Kairaita and Serendiptal for betaing, especially after this monstrous delay!_


End file.
